That I Am Too Gay To Hang Out With

'The Kinsey scale, also called the Heterosexual–Homosexual Rating Scale, attempts to describe a person's sexual experience or response at a given time. It uses a scale from 0, meaning exclusively heterosexual, to 6, meaning exclusively homosexual.' (The Kinsey Institute, 2011)

The scale describes me as 'exclusively homosexual', of which I've no doubt. It means I am very gay, that I only date men, that I only have sex with men, that I can tell the difference between teal and green, and so on.

It was no surprise when my request to hang out with a friend, who is on the down low, for a future event, was politely declined (in many words), as he would find it difficult to explain to his friends why a 'very gay' individual such as myself knows him, and has the audacity to greet him, and sit in the same area with him.

I wasn't even mad, I told him that I respected his view, and left it at that.

In my heart though, I felt sadness.

To be fair, you have to look at it from his perspective as well, being on the down low is rough, keeping up appearances and putting on acts, he can't really be yourself without the fear of everyone else finding out, and his life changing significantly as a result. He has constructed his life to what it is now, a successful young professional. He wouldn't dare risk throwing it all away because he was seeing hanging out with a gay guy who has a similar interest. People would ask questions, and that would be the beginning of the end of his carefully curated image. 

In my case, I felt sad because I can never really fit in some circles. It's not like I asked to be overwhelmingly gay, it's just incredibly difficult for me to hide aspects of myself. It's the little things like my waving of hands, or my voice's intonation... those are a right giveaway. I am not ashamed of myself, but I wish that other individuals could be more accommodating of such things. It's a bit hard fitting in heterosexual spaces. I don't know how to 'turn it down a notch'. 

I don't even feel like going for that event anymore. 

That Current Anti-Gay Rhetoric Is Old News

In response to this, this, and this. Other newspapers didn't seem as interested in the topic.

Kenyan politicians are talking about us gays again. It's the usual rhetoric, that Kenya is a Christian nation, moral values need to be upheld, it is 'un-African', protection of the family, and so on.

It has been the same headline for years.

When I heard the headline on Matatu FM, and read the paper shortly, I asked myself, 'defend Kenya from what?' Weave snatching queens? Burly bears? The sass of young gay teenagers? What does he mean?

Christian nation my ass. We have Muslims, Jews, Jains, Sikhs, Bohorans, Ismailys, Jehovah's Witnesses, Mormons... It would be nice if politicians would accept that there many religions in Kenya. All these religions have their say on homosexuality, but it would be good to stop generalising the country as being one religion.

It is very sad that people think same sex love is immoral. Something universal like love shouldn't be limited/restricted. Even animals have homosexuals in their societies. Holy Scriptures have been edited to make man the societal leader, whilst oppressing women by suggesting they should be submissive, and saying that homosexual love is immoral. There's a beautiful story about David and Jonathan in the Bible, that whilst most Christians interpret is a platonic friendship, keener minds would see it as an epic love of two men. It is possible to married and love another man, isn't it common place with men on the down low? Also, I feel it is ridiculous to claim that morals need to be upheld, when in fact society has other negative vices such as cheating & corruption, rape, domestic violence, human trafficking...

How on earth are homosexuals a threat to families, when in fact they come from a family? Homosexuals do not just magically appear out of thin air like genies, nor do they appear from the deepest realms of hell through volcanic fissures. Homosexuals are born, like any other human, from a woman's uterus, as a result of sex 9 months earlier. I am interested in knowing exactly how they are a threat. 
Fine, a few parents and family members might be upset when their child reveals to them that lo and behold, they are gay. I can tell you it is the gay person that needs protection FROM the family, because most of the family have these views that having a gay family member is an embarrassment to them, that it brings shame to the family, and that they need to stamp out the gay by beating the gay family member, taking them to church for 'gay therapy' and prayers, or just banning them/excluding them from the family all together.  Where do they go from there? There are many men and women who live in fear of their families finding out, because they were brought up to believe that being gay is an evil thing that brings doom to the family.
In reality, it is the family that is afraid. They are afraid of what other families will think of them, that they will be ridiculed, and looked at differently. You cannot say you are family when you are busy ostracising a gay family member. That is hypocrisy.
If it is being looked at from an approach of "destroying families", then heterosexuals (read straight people) are also as guilty. How many men and women who are straight and married cheat? Most of the time when the other spouse finds out, the family separates or gets into an epic fight; few are strong enough to reconcile and move on. They speak of gays coming to destroy families by 'stealing' husbands and wives. Get your shit together, your spouse is the one who discovers that he is in fact attracted to men, has discovered a gay scene because of apps like Grindr, and is the one who consciously made the decision to go and mingle with them. It is also his fault when he gets caught by his wife cavorting with his newly found partner. The newly found partner was probably lied to, and or pressured/cajoled into that extra marital affair, because they are either young and foolish, or equally old and on the down low.
Isn't it a similar situation if it were a heterosexual scenario, where the husband is found with a younger girl? How is it any different if he were found with a gay man? 
I applaud the few families that accept the gay family member as their own. Have their lives stopped? Did they die when a member came out to them? I feel the point on protection of families is irrelevant. 

We just want decriminalisation of homosexuality, so that we can have equal rights at work, at home, and in society. We are evicted from houses we work to pay rent for, because we are gay. We are denied healthcare services, because we are gay. We are fired from workplaces, because we are gay. When will it all stop? We are humans as well, who feel emotions just like any other heterosexual. We go to work and school like any other human. We pay our taxes, and contribute to the national economy, just like any other hard working human would. I also remember one of these politicians saying that gays need roads as well, hence the need for tax collection.

Then why is our existence illegal?